Rebuilding
by Docnerd89
Summary: There are so many things we take for granted, even those to which we seemingly attach some value. It takes losing all of it to know the real value they hold though.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own these excellent characters.

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><p>Kate Beckett was not your average woman to be lamenting over relationships, or clothes, or hair styles. No. It was her choice of profession that trained an already less than vain Kate to realize that these things were trivial when it came to the big picture that was life. A recent incident, for instance, had done just that leading Kate to continue her ponderings over loss, and life.<p>

With a deep sigh befitting her situation, she twirled the smooth stem of her wine glass while staring down into the notably shallow yet hypnotizing blood-red liquid within.

"A dollar for them?" said the deep rumble of his voice from much closer than she'd expected.

She chose then to lift her legs onto the couch, making herself comfortable as she leaned her back on its arm, as she looked up into the cool blue eyes, again, closer than she had expected. "A dollar?" Kate asked, her forehead wrinkling adorably enough to cause the man to take on a bemused expression.

"Mhmm. A penny would be far too cheap for your thoughts," he said, grinning, "I wouldn't want to insult you."

She narrowed her eyes at him, though he knew it wasn't so much a glare as amused tolerance. He was getting much better at differentiating those subtleties in her expressions – facial or otherwise, with every passing day.

A full minute of contemplation over how to answer that simple question left Castle wondering whether he did mentally insult her by thinking that her thoughts would ever be simple. He was casually leaning against the back of the couch, his arms folded underneath him, bearing his weight while he waited. When an answer still hadn't come, and Kate still hadn't chided him for staring at her, Castle really started to worry.

Worried though he was, he _had_ taken full advantage of said minute to let his eyes run over every little inch of her beautiful flawless skin, ending not on her juicy looking lips as they usually did, but on the few soft strands of hair that fell over her face. Because of his proximity, they swayed the tiniest bit every time he let out a breath. Before he could stop it his defiant right arm snuck out from under him leaving the other more sincere one to support more of his weight. With the back of two of his fingers, ever so softly he tucked her hair behind her ear.

Finally she was startled out of her own musings, and into reality, turning towards his traitorous hand. He glanced wide eyed at his hand too, mentally shocked at its blatant betrayal before turning to her. Much to his surprise, he saw the corners of her mouth twitch as if she were trying to smother a smile.

"I was just thinking about… things," Kate finally said.

"How very descriptive of you," he replied. Now that he didn't trust his hand, he balled it into a fist and tucked it under his chin. Best be safe. He smirked before joking, "Big things, small things, short things, tall things?"

"No, I mean. I was literally thinking about things. My things that got incinerated in the blast," she said, nodding towards sofa, silently asking him to sit by her.

Castle knew that a lack of a comeback for that meant she was being serious. He smiled sympathetically and moved, complying with her request. He sat by her feet on the couch, tucking one leg underneath him as he faced her, and once again leaning his head on his right hand for support, as much as to keep it out of trouble.

Before he got a word in, she went on. "We see these things every day, you know. Our things scattered all about the house. A stray coaster on the coffee table, a random piece of décor on the shelf, the loads and loads of books collected over years," she smiled at him at that before going on, "and yet, when something like this happens, it's hard to even recall some of those things."

"Are you saying you can't recall which books were lining your shelf? Because I could help with that, you know," he said, with a lopsided grin while waggling his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes at him, softly nudging his knee with her foot. His until then sincere left hand decided to betray him as well, by snagging her ankle softly with the excuse of being playful. Since she didn't seem to mind, he left it there. "I'm sure you could," she replied with a grin of her own, before it slipped off her face. "But I meant, I was trying to do a mental inventory, and I had a hard time figuring out what went where; how many things must now be ashes and realized that I won't actually be able to remember what they were."

He knew what she meant of course, but his coping mechanism still made him try to cheer her up with a joke or two. "I never realized you cared that much for coasters."

"Castle," she huffed.

His thumb started stroking her foot in an effort to soothe her. It seemed to be working too. "Sorry, couldn't help myself," he said, looking sheepish. "I know what you mean though. There are so many things we take for granted, even those to which we seemingly attach some value. It takes losing all of it to know the real value they hold though."

She let out a deep breath as she looked right into his eyes, and gave a small nod. "Yeah, exactly," she said so softly, he barely caught it.

"Kate," he said simply, as his hand glided up and settled on her calf.

Kate visibly gulped as her eyes followed his hand in its path up her leg. It felt so gentle, so good. She blinked and looked up at him, hastening to change the subject. "I managed to salvage quite a lot, actually. Most of the stuff in my room was undamaged."

"Your clothes?" he asked, letting the intensity of the moment pass, though not the moment itself.

"Yeah, since the closet was two doors removed from the blast. My wardrobe smells decidedly smoky, so it's all gone for dry cleaning; but at least I have it."

With an obviously put on sigh, his hand wandered back to her ankle before he replied, "Too bad. My shirts look so good on you; I was going to offer you my entire collection." To his delight, she stuck her tongue out, causing him to chuckle, while she self consciously tugged on the sleeve of his long cotton T she was currently sporting for comfort.

"We could always trade, Castle. I'm sure you'd look great in a dress," she said, sounding more like her usual self than she had all day.

He sniffed dramatically before replying, "I'll have you know I look fabulous in a good strapless."

She gifted him with a long laugh for that, leaving him grinning like a fool, with his chest puffed in pride for being the source of such mirth from her.

"Oh, Castle," she said, calming down. "Thanks. I needed that."

"An ego bashing is but a small price to pay for that response. But I don't let just anyone come and stomp all over my pride, so I hope you know how special that makes you."

"I do," she said. She tried in vain to restrict her smile by chewing on her lower lip, but failed miserably, letting it bloom in all its beauty.

God, she looked so beautiful when she smiled. He genuinely contemplated giving up novels in lieu of writing songs or poetry for her instead. His very early and rather disastrous experience in that venture left him shaking his head at that thought. Nah, he'd stick to the novels.

"I miss my place, Rick. It might not have been much, but it was my sanctuary," she said, slipping back into the melancholy he first found her in. "And I miss my things."

He nodded, at a loss for words. Then suddenly, struck with an idea, he said, "we should buy you new things."

She chuckled. "Not something I can avoid, I'm afraid. But I miss _my_ things. Things that, for lack of a better explanation, had their own stories."

"Then we should buy you things with stories," he said, shrugging, as if it were a simple concept.

"Castle-" she said warily.

"No, listen. You said it yourself, it's unavoidable. You do have to buy a lot of new things. But they don't all have to be meaningless. We can find you things that fit you."

"Fit me?" she asked, looking confused, but for once, curious about his idea.

"Yeah! Things with meanings; with layers – a writing desk that belonged to an ex-_spy_!; a tea-set that belonged to an old English couple who'd relocated to America, a painting made by a painter for his beloved and passed down the generations, a- "

"I get it," she said, cutting his long list, with an adoring smile. Only Castle would put that much romance into buying …well, things. "Sounds like a lot of work," she said, scrunching up her nose. When he smiled to hide his disappointment, she added, "but it sounds like fun, too."

His answering smile knocked the breath out of her. He looked like a little boy who was told that Santa delivered his present. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. But you'd better be there the whole time to help, Castle. No running away when it's inconvenient, like you do with paperwork."

He brightened even more at that, if possible. "I'll be there the whole time. This is going to be so much fun!"

Kate found that his enthusiasm was rubbing off on her. What would have been dreaded, boring shopping to replenish her lost necessities had suddenly turned into an adventure of sorts. Something she definitely looked forward to. The fact that it meant more time spent in his company may or may not have played a role in her going along with it. Like in a fantasy book, it would be a magical adventure with the two of them working together essentially to rebuild a home.

The thought, of course, also scared her since it meant letting him in even more than she had already. She was closed off when it came to personal relationships, she knew. Not that she wasn't loving and caring, but she always had one foot out the door, not daring to trust anyone to stick with her. After all, her own mother had left her. Though rationally she knew that it wasn't by choice, and it could happen to anyone, it left her putting up an invisible guard. One that she knew existed; knew that she should work on taking down, but had come to rely upon to safeguard her at least from intentional hurt. And she knew that Castle had the potential to hurt her.

That was just it, though. He already had the potential to hurt her. She was already in too deep. He'd managed to sneak around most of her defenses. So really it was up to her, wasn't it? To let him all the way in. He already had the power to destroy her, but she had to learn to trust that he would not do so.

He'd given her a home when she'd lost hers, willingly shared his family; done everything to make her comfortable. It was proving easier to learn to trust Richard Castle than she would ever have imagined.

"We should probably find you a good apartment first," he said. "Oooh, unless you'd like to move in here?" he joked.

She knew he knew she would never take that seriously. The supremely independent Kate take the easy way out when the going got tough? Hah!

"Sure, Castle. Just so you know, I sleep on the right side."

"Wha- huh?" he said with his jaw slack.

She put her hand under his chin and lifted his jaw shut. "Kidding. Jeez! I like the apartment I found, thank you very much. You want to come have a look tomorrow?"

"Uh. Yes! After work?"

"Provided a body doesn't drop, and we don't have too much work. Otherwise we can go on the weekend, like I had planned anyway."

His 9 year old excited self made an appearance. "We could go now!"

"It's midnight," she said, casting him a look.

"What?! It's that late already?"

"Yes. Speaking of which, I'm tired. So I'm going to call it a night," she said, lifting her legs off the couch and gingerly putting them on the floor, as she gracefully tilted the last of the wine into her mouth and swallowed.

Before she could get up, he moved closer and placed his warm palm on her back. She stiffened, if only a bit, at the unexpected contact.

He moved his thumb in a gentle caress, and said softly, "I'm sorry that you lost your home, and though we're setting on rebuilding you a new one; I want you to know that you'll always have a home here."

With a sudden tightness in her chest, her eyes stinging, but managing to keep the tears at bay, she turned to him and placed a hand on his chest. She smiled as she felt the thumping of his eager, loving heart under her palm and leaned towards him to place a lingering kiss on his cheek close to the corner of his mouth. When she pulled back, she found his eyes closed and had to refrain from going in for more. She waited a moment for him to open his eyes before she gave him a small nod and pulled her hand from underneath his which had come to press hers closer to him. "I know. Good night, Castle."

She got up, and headed towards the stairs when she heard him clearing his throat softly. "Until tomorrow, Kate." With only a pause to let him know she heard, she started towards the guest bedroom again, knowing that tomorrow really did seem optimistic.

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><p><strong>AN: **In case it isn't obvious, this is season 2, post Boom. Yep. It's been eating at me for two months now. I haven't re-read it before posting, 'cause I don't really have that kind of time. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you done yet?" Castle directed at a diligently working Beckett as he approached her desk.

She looked up wearing an irritated expression and opened her mouth to retort, but silently pursed her lips when she caught the eager look on his face. Bemused, she asked him instead, "Really, Castle? You've been gone all day, and this is the first thing you say to me?"

Grinning sheepishly, he handed her a steaming cup. "Got you coffee…?"

Kate stared him down for a minute, fighting to keep a straight face. "And now you're trying to bribe me?"

"What? No! I would never – " he paused briefly and amended, "actually, I would. But not you; I wouldn't. Actually, I would. But-," he spluttered helplessly.

Unable to hold it in any longer, she grinned at him, laughing with a single 'hah', the way she usually did.

"Oh, real nice, Beckett. I've been toiling away all day, and this is the thanks I get. I don't think I want to give you this coffee anymore."

"Toiling away? What have you been up to?" She asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously, ignoring his latter threat, she reached for the coffee, raising an eyebrow.

"Things," he said cheekily, "but never you mind, my lovely detective. Are you done yet?" he asked again, handing her the coffee. He felt his fingers tingling where hers brushed them.

She hid her faint blush by bringing the steaming cup towards hers mouth, drawing a large sip of the fragrant vanilla latte, and sighing in happiness.

He blinked, and shook himself to keep from staring as she drew her lower lip in, sucking the little drop of coffee that moistening it so tantalizingly. "Umm.."

Deciding to help him out, she answered, "No. But I'm almost done. Why so eager, Castle?" She teased.

With a great put out sigh, he sat himself on his chair, and rested his chin on his elbow on her desk, as he surreptitiously scooted forwards. "You know exactly why, detective."

She shrugged and turned to her paperwork. He continued to stare at her. It started out as an attempt to irritate her – his favorite pastime – but he ended up getting lost in her. Her glowing skin that he longed to touch, to kiss; her silky hair that framed her face that he wanted to curl his hands in; her eyes – green speckled with brown – always twinkling with compassion, and justice, and strength. He really did think she was extraordinary. When he noticed her squirm, aware as always of his gaze, he finally leant back with a small smile.

In the two weeks that she had been living at the loft, he had tried his best to be a good friend. In fact, he tried so hard to refrain from innuendo – even when she was the one to begin the banter – that he'd freaked her out. Much to his delight, she had asked him to cut it out. It was much better that way, really, because she had become comfortable around him as he was. She also got to see the side of him that only made its appearance when he was with Alexis and Martha. Castle didn't really keep that side of him isolated from the other. It wasn't intentional, it was just circumstantial. But he was glad that she got to see it and seemed to like it, going as far as even telling him that it was endearing to see him as the family man – the guy that someone could count on.

In his mind, it had translated to the fact that she was coming to see him as someone she could count on.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when she let out a relieved sigh, capping her pen and starting to put her things away. A little enthusiastically, he jumped from his spot and grabbed her coat, holding it out for her, seemingly leading to her amusement.

"Calm down, Castle. You're leading me to think you want me out of the house."

"Never!" he said breathily, and with a little too much sincerity. He cleared his throat awkwardly, "I'm just excited to see the place that has caught the ever scrutinizing detective's fancy, is all."

She huffed, "Seriously? You're making me sound like a snob. Digging a deep hole today, Castle," she said even as she turned around to let him help her into the coat. She turned to him again only to find his sight riveted on her, as she flipped her hair out from under the collar, causing her to blush. Apparently ignoring their usual boundaries, he stepped closer than he already was, to help button up her coat. To keep from staring at him, she quickly started at the rest of the buttons, but couldn't help but appreciate how warm, and comfortable it felt to be so close to him.

She was stirred out of thinking anything further when he whispered, "I'm just really excited to start on our little project." Kate smiled at him and in an equally soft voice she said, "Me too."

They turned towards the elevator, and she took him arm when he offered it to her.

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><p>"Ooooh! I love this place! How'd you find it?" Castle asked, following her as she walked into a kitchen.<p>

She grinned at him over her shoulder. "I know a guy."

He chuckled. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

"Beat you to it this time," she said in a strange tone as she slid her hand over the counter, and closed her eyes, and seemingly swayed on the spot. She sucked in a breath when she suddenly felt his hands on her waist from behind.

"Kate," he breathed softly, "You okay?"

It had been a long day, and she had been a little excited about showing Castle this place too. She might have skipped lunch. Already having skipped breakfast because she was called in earlier for some lunch, it ended up being a bad idea. Oops.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. Just need a little more sugar in the system than the coffee, I guess," she said, patting his hand on her hip, signaling him to let go. He didn't. "Castle?" she asked, still feeling a little woozy.

His grip loosened enough to allow her to turn in his arms and to her surprise, lifted her onto the counter as if she weighed nothing at all. She let out a small shriek. Funnily enough so did he, before putting his forehead on her shoulder.

"Ouch," he said in a high pitched voice, momentarily lifting his head, before squeezing his eyes shut and lowering it to her shoulders once more.

She was concerned enough about his strange actions enough that she wasn't even dizzy anymore. She raised her right hand to card through his hair, as her left hand supported her weight on the kitchen counter. She repeated, "Castle?"

"Ah. You sort of kneed me in the jewels, Beckett," he mumbled onto her shoulder, and added, "not funny," as her shoulder started quivering with laughter.

"Oh it is. Suits you right, too. Why'd you lift me up here? Without so much as a warning, might I add?" she said, still laughing.

He lifted his head off her shoulder again, and suddenly his face was closer to hers than either realized. With a small smile, he said, "I was trying to get you to sit down. If you hadn't noticed, there's not much furniture around."

"So gallant of you," she said, smiling openly so her tongue touched her teeth.

"Uhuh," he nodded, glad to see her agreeing. "Trust you to hurt a guy showing some chivalry," he pouted.

She withdrew her hand which was still combing through his hair, subconsciously of course, and patted his cheek. "Oh, you poor thing. Does it still hurt?"

"I'll live," he said, puffing his chest, causing her to chuckle. "You look better," he voiced, changing the topic.

She smiled, "I feel better. All it took was seeing you in pain. Thanks," she teased, chuckling once more at as he blew her a raspberry.

"You should know better than to skip meals, Kate Beckett," he admonished. "Running solely on coffee, what were you thinking? We could've stopped to get a bite on the way, you know. Is it nice to worry me like that?"

She smiled at his concern. "Sorry, Castle. Guess you weren't the only one excited about today," she said trying to be nonchalant.

The fact that she was as excited about seeing the place together as he was, and the fact that she actually revealed as much to him melted his heart. He intended to give her a lecture on healthy eating, just for the sake of it but couldn't go through with it. Instead, he pulled away slightly, happily noticing just how close they had been, and started undoing his jacket.

"Umm, Castle…?" Beckett said with slightly wide eyes. "What are you doing?"

Once he had the top three buttons open, he pulled out a candy bar from his jacket pocket and presented it to her with flourish. "Eat this now, and then we're heading out for a proper dinner."

She laughed as she took the chocolate from his hand, and tore it open. "You really are a nine year old sometimes. I guess I know the secret to the sugar rush now."

"It's for emergencies, like this one," he said in his defense.

"Mhmm," she said with a smile as she chewed on the chocolate. "So you like the place?"

He looked around again, and nodded. "I like it. It's very _you._"

Kate scrunched her eyebrows adorably at that. "Very me?"

"Yeah. Open but still protected. Cozy but not congested. And warm, inviting," Castle said trying to describe it. He nodded at his own assessment, "very you. Are you looking at other places?"

She smiled at him, and offered him a bite of the chocolate, which he took right out of her hand. "No, I think you're right. I'd seen a couple of other apartments, but I think I made up my mind the moment I stepped into this place. Helps that the price is decent."

"Also good that it's closer to the precinct than your old apartment," he added.

"Definitely. Castle, I was thinking –" she said hesitantly, putting the wrapper in her pocket for disposal later.

"Yeah?"

"I know you said we'd fill the place up with stuff that has meaning, but, I mean – I think I need to make a few purchases to begin with. I really don't think I want a bed that has a lot of meaning to someone," she tried to explain awkwardly.

He couldn't help but chuckle at her. He placed his hands on her waist again, and waited for her to nod back before helping her off the counter, though she very well could have gotten down on her own. Neither commented on it. "I know, I figured. That's what I've been doing all day, actually. I've looked up a few places with good furniture. Figured we'd start you off with a sofa set and beds at least. We could go whenever you're free next."

She was taken aback at his thoughtfulness, and asked just to make sure, "You haven't bought anything already, have you?"

"No, no. Of course not. Your apartment, your choice. Besides, I hadn't seen this place yet, didn't know how big the couch ought to be," he grinned before continuing, "-and never having seen your _bed –_ but whose fault is that?" He chuckled as she elbowed him playfully.

They closed the door to what would be her future apartment, and as she locked up, she said, "Well, you can see it soon."

"W-what?" Castle said, incredulously.

"You _are_ going to help me choose it after all," she said coyly, starting towards the elevator. "You coming, Castle?"

"I'm not going to survive this, am I? he mumbled to himself, before shuffling after her.

"What?"

"Coming," he called out.

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><p><strong>AN: **Did that feel too fast? Let me know. Hope you liked it, though.


	3. Chapter 3

It had taken a couple of days to finalize the purchase of her new apartment. Castle had helped her with the paperwork, much to her surprise, since he never did stick around for the precinct paperwork. It was too boring, and lacked good story telling, he always justified. In the end she didn't mind too much, because he'd likely serve more as a distraction than being of any help if he stuck around for it. She did appreciate all his help with the apartment work though.

They had decided to go mattress shopping together, and she agreed. If his sinfully soft mattresses were anything to go by, he had good taste in mattresses. She wouldn't mind coming home to the feeling of floating on a cloud every night. In the meantime, she was still living at the loft, with the family that seemed to have adopted her. Martha had a unique way of showing her affections to Castle. It was a quaint, but heartwarming dynamic between the two. She would often turn her enthusiastic mother-hen nature onto Kate, especially after a difficult day, but was always short of overbearing. Alexis had taken to asking Kate advice on homework, fashion and much to Castle's dismay, boys. It warmed Kate's heart, as well as scared her just a bit when she realized that she fit into this family like a missing puzzle piece, and they fit into her life, filling out gaping holes made by others or by her.

She was brought out of her musings by Castle's overly dramatized sigh of bliss. "Come lie down, Beckett," he said, patting the space next to him. "It's so comfortable. This is the one."

Kate rolled her eyes. "You said that about the last three, Castle."

"Not true," he said, opening one eye, "I said I thought those were the ones; I _know_ this is the one. Come one, Kate." She noticed that he had taken to calling her Kate more often these days, and found that she didn't mind it. Calling him Rick, though, still seemed strange for her; only reserved for special occasions – good or bad. "Please?" Castle pleaded, throwing in a pout for good measure. "This is the last one I'll make you try."

The stores person who was accompanying them stepped away when his supervisor called him over, leaving them with at least a little privacy. Thanks, universe.

Kate huffed, and turned around, plopping down gracefully next to Castle. "Happy?"

"Ecstatic," he replied, turning to face her. "Nice, huh?"

She shrugged. They'd tried six other mattresses, and except for one, she had been happy enough with the rest. But he was right; this one was a good mixture of soft and firm – soft enough to sink into, firm enough not to get buried.

This time Castle huffed. "Close your eyes," he commanded, following it up with a 'please' when she glared at him. "Okay, now, imagine that it's late. It's dark and misty outside, and you've made your way through raging winds, after a particularly difficult day. It's all you can do to change into your pajamas after a quick shower, maybe fix yourself a sandwich or something because you're too tired to even cook. The day has finally taken its toll on you, and made you bone-weary enough to want to shut down all thoughts. That's when you finally turn off the lights, check your phone to see if I've called," he paused long enough to see her grin, and continued, "and then you lie down on his little piece of heaven. It feels so good, so soft on your skin, that you can't help the sigh of content that escapes your lips. Just a few moments later, you're blissfully drifting off into a peaceful slumber that you've looked forward to all day."

When no reply came from her, he shifted up on his elbow to get a better look. It was the first time in weeks that he had seen her that peaceful, and for a moment he wondered if she had drifted off to sleep. Man, he was good. He lifted his hand to tuck a few silky brunette strands of hair behind her ear, and couldn't help but trace the line of her jaw with his thumb, when she opened her eyes.

He looked at her unapologetically as his thumb continued to caress her face. Kate stared right back at him, maintaining eye contact as her hand came up to intertwine with his. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but what exactly it was, neither would ever know, because they heard someone clearing their throat.

Startled by the interruption, Castle sat up ramrod straight. Kate followed a little more gracefully, looking as confused as he felt. "We'll take this one," she managed to say to the salesman.

"Great, if you'll just follow me, we'll sort out the details."

They both nodded, and started to follow him, but not before sharing a look that said they would shelve what happened for later.

* * *

><p>Later never came since they were now at Kate's apartment, along with Ryan and Esposito, finishing up the shelves.<p>

He really liked her apartment. The space was large and a strange balance of earthy and modern. She had said that she wanted to keep it that way, with as less clutter as she could manage while still making it feel homey. The walls had a light cream colored brick finish and wood paneling along with darker wooden beams running over angles of the ceiling. There were stairs leading to an upper level which had her bedroom which further had access to small roof top area. The floors also comprised of light wood, giving the whole space a warm glow reminiscent of a country-side cabin.

The apartment had come with a refrigerator, and the day before, they had set up a washer and dryer with the help of the building super. Castle had joked on seeing the rather large refrigerator, that it would soon rival her old takeout shrine in no time.

There was a space next to it that Castle with the boys' help had turned into a small cabinet with stylish old wooden doors. When she asked where he had gotten those, he said he came upon them by luck. There was an old bar he used to write at, and the owner was a friend. They had just done a couple of renovations and were getting rid of the old stuff when Castle had spotted these among the lot. He thought they would suit her apartment. So he had insisted on buying them from his friend though he offered them for free since they were in such good shape. He had only stopped by on a whim on the very next day after they had decided to build her a home.

All in all, Kate thought that her apartment was coming together very well. With her boys currently enjoying beers on their break, it felt like a home to her. She realized that soon she would be able to move in properly and start living here. But that meant moving out from the loft, and away from the Castles. It was a bittersweet feeling.

Castle watched as she climbed the stairs to her room, and seeing the gloomy look on her face, decided to follow her. He excused himself as the boys continued to chat and dig into their pizzas and followed her up after disposing of his beer.

Kate stood facing the window, the setting sun casting a warm glow on her skin. So in tune they were with each other that she didn't have to turn to notice when he was behind her. "I think I'll buy a few potted plants for the roof."

"Sounds like a good idea."

She hummed in response.

"Kate, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she shrugged.

"If it's put you in this mood, it's not nothing," he persisted, walking closer to her.

She let out a heavy breath in defeat. He had always been able to read her too well. Sometimes that was a good thing, and sometimes, not so much. "It's – really nothing. I was just feeling a little melancholy."

"Why's that? You'll finally have your own place – and space again."

"And no one to share it with," she said, hastening to explain, "I mean, I got used to being around you guys. Now it's going to be so –"

"Quiet?" he chuckled.

"Yeah," she said with a grin, "and I like the idea of having some tranquility, Castle, but the last few weeks – they reminded me of a time when I had a family."

His heart broke for her. On an impulse, he closed the distance between them and wrapped her in a hug from behind. He felt her tense momentarily before she allowed herself to relax and lean into him. Turning his face into the crook of her neck, he whispered, "You still have a family."

"I know," she said with a sad smile, nudging his head with hers, "I just meant, before my mom-"

"I know what you meant," he said softly, "But I want you to know that you will always have a family. You have Ryan and Esposito who behave more like brothers than some real brothers I know. They are fiercely protective of you. You have Montgomery who treats you like his daughter. You have Martha and Alexis, who seem to want you around as much, if not more than they even want me these days," he said with a pout to lighten the mood. Judging from her face, it had worked. "And you have me. You'll always have me," he added, trying but failing to sound nonchalant, as he tightened his hold on her.

Wrapped in a cocoon of emotions, Kate drew in a deep breath, trying to keep her tears at bay. No one else had the kind of effect on her as this amazing man did. She brought her hands up to cover his over her waist, and slipped her fingers between his. "Thank you, Rick," she said, her voice trembling. "You mean the world to me." When he sucked in a breath and squeezed her fingers between his, she had a moment of panic at having revealed more than she meant to – at least for now – and quickly added, "You all mean then the world to me." She knew it hadn't fooled him, but she had to try.

A current washed through her when she felt his lips leaving a sweet, warm kiss where his face was hidden against her neck. Just as she bit her lip to hide her moan, they heard a noise from downstairs.

"Hey, are you two done canoodling up there?"

"Bro," they heard Esposito admonishing Ryan, "Canoodling? Who even says that?"

Castle and Beckett chuckled, broken out of their little bubble. He released her from his tight embrace, her fingers trailing over his forearms as she reluctantly stepped away from him. When she turned to see the adoring look on his face, she blushed, causing him to smile. "Kate, what-?"

She knew what he was going to ask, but she didn't even know the answers herself. Interrupting him, she said, "We should go down there before they start getting any ideas."

"They already have ideas."

"Before they start getting more ideas then."

"Would they be the right ideas?"

Raising her eyebrows in surprise that he would actually be that direct, she winked and replied coyly, "I have no idea," and turned to head down the stairs.

"You have no idea," he whispered with a smile, remembering the words from the end of their first case together.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Sorry this took a while. I suck at descriptions, but I hope you've enjoyed it anyway. Let me know your thoughts. Thank you all who reviewed the last two chapters. You are all too sweet.


	4. Chapter 4

He really didn't want to leave her.

She did not need him there.

* * *

><p>The day was quickly approaching where Kate would have to move out of the loft and into her new, now slightly furnished apartment. She had all the basic necessities set up - bed : check, functional kitchen : check, washer-dryer : check. Her clothes (all that were in her closet when her apartment blew up) were ready to be picked up from the cleaners. The hefty price was being paid for by her father on his insistence ("You won't let me help in any other way, Katie; at least let me do this"). And she thanked all that was holy that her shoes had survived because she lovingly stored them in her closet – all but two pairs.<p>

And so, as it were, it was her last day at the loft. They'd already had an almost teary dinner the night before, mostly led by the usually dramatic Martha being unusually sober. Alexis had even baked cookies for her to take back to her new home (the loft smelled heavenly), and Castle was being his usual charming self. Beneath all the charm, though, she knew he was very sad. She knew because beneath her smiles, and laughs, and hugs was a sadness of her own that she did well to cover up – better than he did only because she had more practice.

As their luck would have it, her last day wasn't quite the same, much to her disappointment – not that she would show it. Alexis was locked away in her room for a semi-surprise test they had just announced, and had actually felt guilty about not being able to spend her time with Kate on her last day at the loft. Kate had to convince her that it wasn't as if she was going very far, and they could always spend time together – with our without Castle. Alexis only agreed after she managed to invite Kate to dinner at the loft the week after (not that it took much convincing).

Martha had landed a role, and had already informed them that she wouldn't be around that day, so that wasn't much of a surprise. But Castle – now Castle said something about having an emergency publicity event that he absolutely had to attend or he'd be skinned alive by his piranha of an ex-wife.

Kate initially thought it was some sort of joke or a bluff, and that Castle would turn up yelling 'surprise' when he thought she'd least be expecting it. Joke was on her though when he entered the living room wearing a light blue shirt, black pants and jacket, _and_ a tie to match. She couldn't remember him ever wearing a tie. Soon, she would know why.

"Oh, good, Alexis!" he said, relieved at finding his daughter rummaging through the fridge. "A little help, elf?"

Alexis straightened up from behind the refrigerator with an apple in her mouth and one in her hand. "Nyoufanxeckeff," she said, nodding to Kate and bolted up the stairs.

He turned to Beckett, her face reflecting the surprise on his. "She has the manners of an aristocratic princess except for rare episodes where schoolwork takes precedence, and then she resembles Shrek," he said chuckling.

"Beckett! You're a girl! Can you help?" he asked innocently, and hopefully.

From her spot on the couch, Kate actually chuckled at that. "Okay. One: that makes no sense. Why would being a girl mean knowing how to tie a tie? And two, jeez Castle. Thanks for noticing that I'm a girl." She gave him a good eye roll with that.

"Oh, come on," he huffed, moving towards the couch. "Didn't you help your father with it? It's one of our fatherly rights – right up there with cuddly bear hugs, and scaring potential suitors."

"So get Alexis to do it. I'm sure she'd be willing when you beg," Kate replied, obviously pleased with the idea of him having to beg.

"Please, Kate? Please, please, please, pl-"

Ugh. Man-child. "Fine, fine. Just shut up," she relented, getting up and moving to stand in front of him.

"Best. Partner. Ever!" he said gleefully, with a smug smirk.

"Why can't you do it yourself? I thought you went to boarding school." She started working on the silky material even as she stated the obvious.

"I can, and I did." He moved suddenly to hold her wrists and keep her hands in place when it seemed like she was about to drop them – and probably drop him. "But I could never do it well. Plus we mostly used the one uniform tie. More often than not, I'd just loosen it instead of undoing it. Easier that way. Other times I got help."

Seemingly satisfied with that answer, she got back to work. He watched, transfixed, as the silken material seemed to glide through her fingers, almost as if in slow motion. Or maybe his heart sped up so fast that everything seems to have slowed down. The way her eyes would dart from her own fingers to his eyes, down his face, and back; the way her whole body seemed to sway under his hands (when had his hands even landed on her hips?); the way his breath would cause the few wisps of hair on her face to move tantalizingly over her skin (had they always been standing so close?). With one sharp tug, the knot was in place, and her hands were smoothing down the limb of the tie over his chest. He felt himself lean forward and his hand glide over to her back, bring her to him. Being shorter without her usual heels, she had to tilt her head up – and then the doorbell rang.

She would have laughed over their luck if she hadn't been anticipating what came next. From his low growl, she was sure he didn't appreciate the interruption either. Ignoring it for the moment, she stepped back and straightened his collar.

It felt so comfortable, and so domestic that he didn't want to move on from the moment. All he wanted to do was drag her to his room and find a way to keep her there forever. Instead he was left cussing at whoever was at the door.

"Oh!" he suddenly exclaimed, causing her to jump back slightly. "Sorry." He held her elbow to steady her. "That must be Gina. She's supposed to pick me up at –" he glanced at the expensive looking watch on his wrist, "um. Now."

Kate took another step back and tried to mask her disappointment. Her brain had stupidly forgotten why she was helping him with his tie in the first place. He was going to some stupid party, with his stupid, gorgeous ex-wife, for an emergency publicity thing. Stupid.

Fine. So what if it was her last day at the loft? She did _not_ need him there. She didn't!

Castle moved to open the door, casting an apologetic look at her. He really didn't want to leave her. But this was important. Gina and Paula would skin him alive if he missed yet another publicity event. After missing two such events citing his need to be working on the cases – shadowing Beckett for research as he told them – he had promised to attend the next one. This was the next one.

Kate saw his sad smile, and recognized the silent apology. She was just about ready to smile back when he opened the door to a gorgeous-looking (as she had anticipated. It was still rude.) Gina decked up in a golden dress. Yeah, the smile wasn't so forthcoming anymore.

"Oh, good, Richard. You're ready, for once. Seems the good detective has been a good influence on you after all," she said with an irritating smirk adorning her face.

"Then Kate's succeeded where no other woman could," Castle said pointedly, doing away with any greetings. Kate blushed, and looked away. "Can you give us a minute, Gina? I'll be right down," he said in a way that garnered no arguments from Gina as she stepped back out of the loft and towards the elevator.

He gently shut the door, and headed back towards Kate, who still wouldn't face him. "Enjoy your date," she said with a falsely cheery voice.

"Kate," he sighed.

Finally facing him, she shook her head trying to come to her senses. "No, really. It's your job, and you should be doing it. We all know you spend way too much time at _my_ job," she said with a smile.

"You're my job too." He scrunched his face. "That didn't come out right."

She laughed. "Go, before Gina comes back up."

"I could stay," he said hesitantly.

It seemed like he had picked up on her unvoiced need. Non-need. She did not need him there. But there was no denying that she would have liked him there – with her. Very much. "And risk the wrath of a dressed-up woman, who happens to be your ex-wife and current publisher? I don't think so," she said raising her eyebrow.

Just as he was about to answer, her cell dinged with a message. "Work?"

"Yeah," she answered distractedly while reading the message before recognizing the hopeful tone of his voice. "Don't even think about it. You're attending that party," she said turning him around and pushing him towards the door. "And I will see you later tonight."

"Okay, okay. I'm going," he said, turning around just at the door. "But you'll call me if it's something interesting, right?"

Damn his puppy eyed pleading look. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Please? P-"

Kate slapped her hand over his mouth before he could start that again. "Yes. But don't think that's going to work every time. I have other ways of shutting you up."

"Mmshurudo." The reply was muffled behind her hand while heat glinted in his eyes. He tugged her hand off gently, and leaned in to place a kiss near the corner of her mouth, lingering for a moment. "See you later, detective."

Kate stood paralyzed at the door watching as the elevator closed on him. Who knows how long she would have remained in that state of stupor, if not for another message going off, finally snapping her into motion.

* * *

><p>It was slightly pathetic how much he was missing her. The event was good – his sort of thing at some point in the past – or even now, maybe with the right company. Gina was being pleasant enough for a change. He had been charming a couple of small time celebrities and paparazzi. All in all, it was going well.<p>

He kept glancing at his phone through the event hoping that she would call - for the case… or otherwise. It had been a couple of hours though, and he had almost given up on it which is why he was surprised when his phone lighted up with Lanie's name.

"_Castle? Are you done with your publicity thing?"_ Lanie said in lieu of pleasantries.

"Almost. Why, what's going on? Where's Kate?" he asked in one breath.

"_Slow down, writer boy. She's right here, conscious, and glaring at me for calling you."_

"Not that I mind, but why _are_ you calling me?" he asked curious, and added, "and why wouldn't she be conscious?"

He heard Lanie sigh. _"Well, our girl went and got a little roughed up."_

"What?" he screamed into the phone, ignoring the looks he was getting from people around him. "Where are you? I'll be there as soon as I can."

"_Calm down, and let me finish. She's a little roughed up, so yeah, I want you to come take her home to get some rest since she refuses to go to a hospital. And God knows she'll try to run back to work if she's unsupervised."_

Hearing Kate muttering in irritation and indignation in the background was music to his ears. "She needs a hospital."

"_Only to be better safe than sorry. What she needs is someone looking after her for the night. Can I count on you to do that?"_

"You know you can, Lanie," he said sincerely.

"_I know, Castle,"_ she responded just as sincerely. _"Get down here and I'll tell you the rest of it, okay?"_

He agreed, and took down the address and took off soon after locating Gina. She wasn't too happy, but he argued that he'd done the rounds, and posed for the papz, which was more than enough. There was nothing for her but to relent.

When he arrived at the scene, Kate was sitting in the back of an ambulance, swinging her legs as she seemingly studied something on her phone. Lanie cut him off before he could reach her.

"Castle," she said in form of greeting.

"Lanie. What happened?" he said, trying but failing to sidestep her.

"Long story short, she was chasing this guy. They both took a tumble. They fought a bit, till the boys reached and helped. But she got a bit banged up – hit her head at one point. There's a small little bump on her forehead, which is why I suggested that she go to a hospital. You can imagine how well that went down."

Castle smiled. "Yeah, I can. Though I still haven't figured out the exact reason behind her aversion to hospitals," he said, clearly fishing for the story.

Lanie crossed her arms, and gave him a look. "Not mine to tell, and you know it."

"Fine," he relented. "Anything I should know in particular?"

"Yeah. I don't think it's a concussion, but that's what you're looking out for. So even the hint that something is off, unequal size of her pupils, irregular breathing; and you're in command. Then you can ignore everything she says, and drag her to a hospital. Use cuffs if it comes to that."

"Easier said than done," he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Consider it done. Now, may I?" he asked, gesturing towards Kate.

"She's all yours," Lanie said, moving out of the way, "And good luck. You're going to need it," she huffed.

He made his way over to Kate, waving to the guys on the way. They seemed busy giving statements to uniforms, as the rest of the scene was slowly clearing up.

If she saw him approaching, she didn't show it. So he sat down next to her and nudged her shoulder with his, but kept the silence.

"I didn't tell her to call you," she said defiantly.

"She's a good best friend," he replied softly.

Kate sighed and looked to him. "I'm sorry. The one day you're off doing your job, and you had to leave half way."

He shrugged and smiled at her. "Nah. I was going to leave soon anyway. Got bored."

"Richard Castle bored at a party. Never thought I'd see the day!" she joked with a small smile.

"What can I say? I've acquired a taste for more interesting things," he said with a smile of his own. "Now, why are you refusing to go to a hospital?"

Her smile dropped. "Castle, I'm fine."

"You have a bump and a cut on your forehead," he said, gently caressing the area next to the thankfully small cut.

"Paramedic said I won't need stitches. A simple Band-Aid will do."

"Ah, evasion." He shook his head.

"I'm fine," she insisted and then pulled out the big guns. Fighting fire with fire. "Please, Castle? I just want to go home," she pleaded, turning to face him. She ran her hand up the lapel of his jacket, watching it in an effort to avoid his eyes.

"On one condition," he said softly but firmly.

"What?" She glanced at him warily.

"You're going to sleep in my room."

"What? No way. Forget it," she said, about to draw her hand back. His hand came to cover hers.

"Please? I want you downstairs. Just in case. I know Lanie is just being careful. I am too. And if it comes to that, it'll be much easier if I don't have to carry you down a set of stairs."

"I can sleep on the couch," she glared.

"You're hurt. My couch is nice, but not _that_ nice. So, bedroom. And I will be there –" at her look he added quickly, "close to you to keep you awake. Check for a concussion. Take it or leave it."

He sounded sincere enough, and she really didn't expect him to take advantage. After a minute of contemplation she slowly nodded. This was a better alternative than going to the hospital in any case. Besides, she was getting more comfortable around him, so why not?

"Okay, Castle. I'll take it. I'm tired. Like I said, I just want to go home. Take me home, Castle?" she said, batting her lashes at him.

"I – of course, Kate, I-" he said, sounding flustered that she gave in so easily. That is, until he saw her mouth twitch. "Why, Katherine Beckett! I never!"

"What?" she said, pursing her lips, her little act having failed.

"Katherine Beckett," he repeated mockingly, "attempting to butter me up. Stroke my…pride, as it were. Never thought I'd see the day!"

She recognized her words being used against her, and shoved him playfully. "Fine, you caught me. But come on, Castle. Lanie just suggested the hospital because she's extra cautious when it comes to me."

"Yeah, I know. She told me you'd be okay at home as long as you rest and have someone looking out for signs of a concussion."

She glared at him. "You couldn't tell me that before?"

"Before you were feeding my ego, you mean?" he smirked.

She huffed and pushed off from the ambulance.

He laughed and followed her, running a bit to catch up with her fast paced strides. "Hold on, Kate. You have a head injury. I'm driving you home."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

Ryan had sidled up next to them on the middle of the sidewalk, with Esposito close behind. "Umm. Actually Beckett, you rode in with us, remember? Your car's at the station."

Growling in frustration, she yelled, "I hate you all!"

Esposito smiled and answered. "Nah! You love us. One of us more than the others," he said, ducking away from her as her hand came up aiming for his ear. Ryan and Esposito hightailed it, but not before yelling, "We love you too, Beckett."

* * *

><p>She had gracefully accepted defeat, and let him drive them home in his SUV. Although she was quiet the whole ride over, probably in defiance.<p>

Her mood improved considerably once they were home. Alexis had already gone to bed, from what her little sticky note on the kitchen counter read. After changing in the guest bedroom (her room) quickly, and having a glass of water in the kitchen, she was greeted by Castle who himself had already changed into a t-shirt and track pants. Too bad. He looked dapper in his suit. Although, come to think of it, adorable suited him too. Huh.

He gently pried her hand of the counter and started pulling her towards his room, and further into his en suite bathroom. "Castle?"

"Hmm?" he turned around and placed his hands on her waist. "I'm going to lift you, and I'd appreciate if you didn't kick me this time around."

"Wha-?" she got out before he lifted her. Well, it was more of a warning than last time. He had placed her on the counted next to the sink as he began rummaging through his cabinet.

"Aha!" he said, pulling out the first aid kit.

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning that thing," he nodded to her forehead, "and putting a Band-Aid on it. Why didn't the paramedics do it?"

"Oh. They handed me a Band-Aid when I insisted that I could do it on my own. I forgot about it when you distracted me."

He rolled his eyes at her, and dabbed some peroxide onto a cotton ball. She winced, watching him bring it towards her. "Close your eyes," he said softly, and went about his ministrations once she did.

Suddenly she felt something cool where he was cleaning. She opened her eyes to see his face a mere inch from hers. He had angled her head with his hand on her jaw, so he could blow softly on the cut.

When she brought her hand to his wrist he explained. "Alexis might seem like the quiet type, but she was already covered in bumps and bruises growing up. She was surprisingly sporty as a kid. It would always soothe her when I did this," he said, blowing air softly again, his lips almost – but not quite, touching her skin.

Kate hummed in reply, unable to do more than that. He backed up only slightly and pulled his hand away from her face to secure the Band-Aid on the cut, rubbing his thumb over it gently a few times.

"How was your date?" she asked suddenly, her voice raspy.

He snorted. "Wasn't a date."

"Someone should have sent Gina a memo about that then," she said drily.

"Kate?"

She breathed out. "Sorry. Never mind. You should get some sleep," she muttered as she tried to slide off the counter, but he held her in place, leaning into her.

"Gina is my _ex_ wife, and publisher," he said, stressing on the 'ex', "and she knows it's going to stay that way. I know it, too. And now so do you."

She looked up at him sharply. Maybe she did have a concussion. What even made her bring it up?

Before she could say anything else, he went on, "Now. The good news is that you have tomorrow off!"

"What?" she asked, nonplussed at the declaration and the change of topic.

"Yup!" he beamed, "Lanie texted me that she cleared it with Montgomery."

"She had no right!" Kate said angrily.

"She had every right. Jeez, Beckett. Most people would be happy to have a day off," he said with an eye roll for good measure.

"Don't you use an eye roll on me. I invented the eye roll."

"Uhuh."

"And I'm not most people."

Castle's cocky grin turned adoring at that, and before she knew it, he leaned in to give her a peck on the lips. As if they did that all the time. "I know," he said, before stepping back from her, allowing her to slide down in front of him. He turned around and stepped out of the bathroom, leaving her standing there stunned, as she felt her lips with her fingers. Was she hallucinating? Was it the concussion?

He poked his head back in, and smirked at her. "You coming, Kate?"

She shook herself out of it and followed, deciding not to over think the – the kiss, at the moment. Maybe he was just being affectionate, and just as she had grown comfortable around him, so had he with her. Very, very comfortable. Mm.

"So I was thinking, since you have the day off, we can start with our little project. Assuming of course that you don't actually have a head injury," he sat on the bed over the covers on one side, and babbled on as she mutely got under the covers on the other. She agreed, for lack of a better response. He was really something else.

"Castle," she interrupted.

"Yes, Kate?" he said, lying with his head propped on his hand next to her.

"Good night."

"Sweet dreams," he said with a smile reaching his eyes. "Till I next wake you up to check for…"

She leaned over and pressed her lips into his for a chaste quick, lasting only slightly longer than his earlier peck did. Lying back down, she quickly turned away from him and closed her eyes, hopefully hiding her giddy smile.

He lay on his back, with both his hands under his head, and stared at the ceiling with a content grin. "You can shut me up like that anytime."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** That escalated quickly. *shrugs* ; )

Thank you all who've reviewed so far. Sorry if I haven't replied individually. And thank you, guest reviewers. : ) Dunno who you are, but I appreciate all the comments.


	5. Chapter 5

When one bumps one's head enough to get a lump and a bruise or two, one generally develops a headache. Then one has painkillers which kills the pain, or dulls it for a while. Next, one is meant to rest and get all better. But sometimes one has a partner who follows one around in the name of research, and proposes wild theories - sometimes seriously, sometimes just to get under one's skin at which point one gets tempted to punch, pinch, slap or thump said partner. One also feels like punching said partner when he incessantly wakes one up rather unceremoniously to ask stupid questions.

That's the general picture.

"Psst. Kate. Wake up." If Castle was attempting to whisper in order not to disturb her, it was a piss poor attempt. However since it was his goal to wake her up for his regularly scheduled concussion check: Yay him!

"I'm up," she gritted out, with her eyes still closed.

"You ever wonder why they say 'wake up'?" Castle asked her seriously. "I mean, why not 'wake down' or…or 'awaken thy self'? Those would make more sense."

Kate opened her eyes and turned so they were facing each other and looked to check for an extra head. There wasn't one. Well, there was one, much as she tried to deny it sometimes, but there wasn't an extra one. Narrowing her already sleep-narrowed eyes, she finally asked him, "did you hit your head, too?"

"Not recently."

"Must be chronic then."

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm up – I'm awake," she glared before he could start again, "my eyes are even, I recognize you and I recognize myself. It's Tuesday. Lanie and you are forcing me to take the day off. Can I go back to sleep now?" She had already closed her eyes and turned to lie on her back again hoping to be left in peace. Her eyes snapped open when his large warm hand landed on her lower back, turning her to keep facing him. Perhaps even inching her just a smidgen closer.

She hadn't forgotten the kiss. Kisses. Two of them. Nice ones.

She hadn't forgotten them at all, but his new found confidence still confused her. She was glad that he was so comfortable and more affectionate than she would ever have imagined. Would have? Hah. Correction, than she had imagined since the day she met him. Warm too. Warm and cuddly. Mmm.

"Kate?" he said in a sing-song voice.

Oh, she was falling asleep again in his warm semi embrace feeling safe and – judging from his smug mug, he knew it.

"What?" she snapped, trying to hide the pink hue blossoming on her cheeks.

"Those were easy facts. And you are not easy."

He got a single well-shaped, damn-near perfect (because she was damn-near perfect) arching eyebrow for that. "Are you saying I'm difficult?"

Not one to back down from her ever sharp retorts, he smirked. "Well, if the shoe fits…"

"I'll show you where my shoe can fit –" she said grabbing his ear in a death pinch.

"Aaaahhooww ow ow ow! Apples!" he cried out, eyes watering from the pain.

Rubbing at his poor probably mangled ear, he pouted. "So tetchy when you just wake up. Awaken?"

He grabbed her wrist when she reached for his ear again, and chuckled out an apology while slowly releasing the tight grip without letting go. Holding her arm between them, he tenderly traced her skin and opened his palm at the back of her shoulder tugging her to him.

She sighed happily, dropping the scowl from her face to replace it with a contented smile and moved closer. He shifted to lie on his back, his other hand winding across her waist, pulling her to half-drape over him. With a little puff of air that tickled the small hairs on his neck, she leant up to give him a light kiss on the crook of his neck. Her arms wrapped around him and their legs tangled almost naturally like they knew where to be, and how to be with each other. Their bodies fitting into the other like they were two pieces with jagged edges – sharp and cutting, nonconforming if anyone else tried to align with them but with each other…with each other they were two parts of one piece. Together they were whole.

Just like that, they both let sleep overcome them.

* * *

><p>About an hour later he was at it again.<p>

"Hey, Kate. Wake up."

Incoherent mumbling was his answer. It was cute incoherent mumbling.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry but I have to check," he said, shrugging his shoulder playfully.

She lifted her head off his shoulder. Looking at an adorably sleep rumpled Kate he couldn't help but slide his free hand into her hair. To have her in his arms – this was the stuff dreams were made of. His eyes roamed over her face, mapping every curve, mole, dip and dimple. Even in the dim golden light cast by a bedside lamp she was strikingly beautiful. Almost without his permission, his hand started massaging the base of her head; her hair tickling and kissing his knuckles with every movement.

"Castle?" she called with a raspy voice, proud for hiding the moan that was dying to escape at his ministrations. Already her eyes were closed, her body basking in the sensation of being – being cared for. They really needed to talk about this – eventually – at a more decent hour after downing a good amount of caffeine.

"Right." His eyes snapped back to her green, gold orbs that though beautiful, were obviously tired. "Okay, we'll make this quick."

"I'd appreciate that," Kate said with a small smile, fighting not to purr because his hand in her hair was still moving, and his hand on her back joined the fun and began caressing her too.

"My name?" he asked.

"Richard Edgar Castle, also Richard Alexander Rodgers."

"Your name?"

"Katherine Houghton Beckett."

"My birthdate?"

"April fools' day," she smirked lazily.

"Your favorite book character besides anyone from Nikki Heat?"

"Derrick Storm," she answered with aplomb.

He lifted up slightly, causing her to tighten her hold on him. "Really?"

"Yeah," she shrugged.

There was a story there, but judging from her short answer, he wasn't going to hear it now. He decided to drop it, knowing that she would open up with him in her own time. So he just smiled at her, his heart warmed that she even admitted as much as she did. That Derrick Storm was her favorite book character. And she was a reader. That was saying something.

"Your pen name on my website?"

Her slow Cheshire grin should have alerted him that she was up to something. Instead his Beckett senses were overloaded and his poor confused brain didn't know what he ought to have been focusing on. Her pink tongue sliding across her teeth slowly, sinfully. Her palm that had come to land over his chest, no doubt feeling the indelicate thumps of his erratically beating heart. Or her face that was nearing his as she lifted herself closer and closer. It was intoxicating. His lips parted in anticipation. His eyes closed and when she was a breath away from giving him what was sure to be the kiss to kill him, she swerved from her path. Letting her lower lip catch on his stubble, dragging it up and up, she closed her lips over his ear. His poor confused heart joined his poor confused brain – should it stop, or should it explode? What was she doing to him?

He expected her to whisper, to continue teasing him with her low seductive voice when she finally spoke to him. Instead he got the more typical "telling Castle off" voice he was used to. He loved that one too, honestly, but it was a slight shock to his already shocked system. They needed to talk. Soon. "Castle, that was low, and underhanded. And I should have expected it. But I am tired. I have a slight headache. There is no caffeine in my system. Do you think you're getting an answer?"

He shook his head.

"Good. And are you going to let me get back to sleep?"

He nodded.

"Good. Now, I am very comfortable. You're warm and soft and this is nice, but I _will_ retract the cuddling privileges if you try that again. Capiche?"

Castle involuntarily tightened his hold on her. "Got it."

"Good," she repeated again. Feeling slightly sorry for him (because yeah, she totally knew what she was doing to him. She could feel it.), she placed a kiss on his cheek.

Wasn't fair after all that teasing, was it? He didn't think so. He moved his hand her jaw, and angled her face to his, and kissed her. Really kissed her. He rolled his lip over hers, nipped at her plump lower lip eliciting a moan. Letting his tongue slip over her lip, he smiled into the kiss when she granted access, and pulled back to her displeasure, judging from the groan.

Her hand had made it into his hair, without either of them noticing. She was taken by surprise; that was for sure. Both of them were slightly out of breath.

"That was amazing," he blurted out, surprised himself.

Kate was trying to – something. She couldn't quite remember what she was trying to do. He was right. That _was_ amazing, and it wasn't even all that much. They were already fireworks, rainbows and a choir of hallelujahs. With more, she couldn't even imagine what that would be like. It would be – magic.

But what was more for them? Where were they headed. She enjoyed being in the moment as much as the next person, but what were they? A little more than friends? Friends with benefits? Would that be enough? Would that destroy their friendship if it didn't work – or if it did?

"Hey, Kate, stop," he said softly, derailing her internal worry-logue. He smiled at her troubled face. "I can hear you thinking."

At that, she couldn't help the smile that burst forth. "Can't help it sometimes. Rick, we should talk about this."

"We will," he said, and suddenly she was afraid that this wasn't as serious as she was making it out to be. Maybe she shouldn't have teased him. They shouldn't have crossed a line. Maybe this was all casual to him. Before she could voice any of this, he continued, "I promise. This is important, and we'll talk about it when we're both properly awake, okay?"

Feeling foolish and embarrassed that she could be so quick to doubt him – them, she smiled and gave him a nod. Of course it was important. Of course it was more than casual. It didn't feel like just another kiss, just anything – it felt like everything. There was no way she was alone in that. And so she smiled, and with another peck (because eh, why not?) she turned to face away from him, and pulled his arm with hers so he was spooning her. She allowed him to weave his fingers through hers, even studying them to see how well they fit – his large fingers falling between her leaner, longer ones. She let him wake her up twice more during the night, putting up with his questions even when he started quizzing her on the plots of his Derrick Storm novels. She let him kiss her, even being the one to initiate the kisses in the middle of the night – or early morning. With all these things, that she let him – she let him in.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Ah cheese. Who doesn't love it?

Kimmers, we have a deal. *waiting patiently*


	6. Chapter 6

Soft sheets, radiating warmth, and a sense of security greeted Kate as she awoke. The soft golden rays of a new dawn that snuck their way through gaps in the heavy curtains looked almost ethereal with the tiny particles of dust swirling serenely in the air. This was accented by the strange intoxicating combination of smells gently assaulting her nose. There was a faint mixture of lavender fabric softener, books, and the musk unique to Castle. The latter and the heavy arm lying protectively over her waist made Kate bite her lip to keep from eliciting a sigh of content and deepest belonging. Though they must surely have moved at night, Castle was still spooning her. His arm was hugging her closely to him so that she could feel his chest brush her back with every breath. It wasn't suffocating, it was reassuring.

The occasional snore that followed every fifteen or so breaths assured Kate that Castle was still asleep. She didn't know how much of a sound sleeper he was, but she wanted to find out. She wanted to know a lot of things about him. As an experiment, she extended her hand at her wrist. His hand, lying loose and malleable around hers, lifted too, confirming her guess. Completely peaceful and quiet in his sleep unlike in his wakefulness, Castle was a sound sleeper. That made her smile too.

Carefully, she turned in his arm so that she was facing him. The movement caused his arm to drop down over her hip, but that was all. He didn't stir. She took the opportunity to observe for a change. He was always staring at her; at the precinct, at crime scenes, in the car. What surprised her was that most of the times it wasn't a wanton stare. Though there was always an element of it when it came to her, she might as well accept it, perhaps even bask in it sometimes. No, what surprised her was that most of the times, he was studying her. Reading her expressions – every degree of every smile, the twinkle in her eyes, the raise of an eyebrow, the click of her tongue – he had become adept at it. Even more interesting was that he changed what he wrote depending on what he read. He would know when to switch from charming to honest, from funny goof-off to serious. He made her happy, no matter how hard he had to work for it. Over time, she realized, he didn't need to try that hard. She just needed him around, and he was. _Always_.

She stroked her fingers over his arm so softly that they barely skimmed the soft little hairs under them. Leaning softly, she leaned slightly closer and pressed her lips softly, but firmly, to the corner of his. The twitch of his lips and soft contented hum that escaped him made her heart skip a beat. Kate intended to let him sleep for a little while longer, and so she gently untangled herself and tip toed out of his room.

Being an early riser, her body was tuned to waking up early, ready to make the most of the day. She made her way into the kitchen and looked around, trying to decide on a good choice of breakfast. Evidently, Alexis was still asleep. The girl had probably studied for as long as she could with a test looming. She decided to make a large breakfast to show her gratitude for giving her a home to come back to for the past few weeks.

But first, she thought a mental inventory of her injuries was in order. The headache seemed to have disappeared over the course of the night, possibly as a result of good pain meds and some tender loving care from a tender loving man. The little Band-aid was still securely in place. The rest of the small bruises that she had sustained from her tackle didn't seem so painful either. She was feeling only a slight stiffness in her movements. Having the day off seemed needless, and she couldn't help but roll her eyes, but she knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth.

The loft had truly become her home. The kitchen had become her kitchen. She was pleasantly surprised when she realized that the Castles' did indeed prepare most meals, wholesome meals, at home instead of ordering take-out. Castle often taunted her about the take-out temple that was her fridge. All those times she thought he just found another point to annoy her about. Surely his fridge would be full of take-out too. Nope. Huh. It wasn't that she was opposed to cooking; in fact she was quite good at it. Castle himself had been surprised and wouldn't stop showering her with praises the day she cooked lasagna using her mom's secret recipe. She teased him about underestimating her, but ended up speechless when he emphatically and earnestly declared, "Only a blind, deaf, and delusional fool would underestimate you, Kate, and I am none of those. Well, maybe a little delusional. But that's beside the point. You are beauty, fierce intellect -" "And she cooks!" Martha added, nudging her son suggestively and causing Kate to blush furiously. Cooking was a talent she had thankfully inherited from her mother. But being in her profession left her with little time and energy, especially when it was just her. It was partly a real obstacle, and partly an excuse. She resolved to try to cook tasty nutritious meals more often.

She brought down pots and pans, and everything required to make pancakes. His kitchen was well stocked. There were fresh berries in the fridge to go with the pancakes, and to her delight, she found a packet of bacon. He loved bacon. With that, her breakfast menu was well under way. Scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, pancakes with fresh berries, and she would bring out the orange juice later.

"Hey, something smells nice," Alexis remarked as she descended the last few stairs.

"Good morning!"

Alexis stifled a yawn and replied, "Good morning!" Ever astute, her eyes drifted to Kate's forehead, causing her to frown.

Kate noticed, but didn't pause cooking, as she expertly flipped a pancake. "All in a day's work, Alexis. Don't worry about it."

"If you say so." Alexis wasn't one to pry. Couldn't be Castle's half of the genes. "Where's dad?"

"Right here. Bacon!" Castle his baritone voice.

If Alexis saw the sudden glow infusing Kate's face, along with the blush and smile, she didn't mention it. "I like 'pumpkin' better," she said, scrunching her nose.

Castle wound his arm playfully around her neck and gave her a noogie. "I dub thee, for now and forevermore, Bacon!"

"Nooooo!" she yelped, escaping his grip and glaring at him. "If you call me Bacon, I'll call you Turkey."

He gasped, spreading his fingers over his chest. "You wouldn't!"

"I would."

"What am I missing?" Kate chimed in.

"When I was seven…" Alexis began before Castle's hand came up to cup her mouth, making her grumble instead.

"Kate doesn't need to know that."

Kate raised her eyebrow and smirked. "I will find out, you know," she said, as Alexis continued to glare at her father though she stopped struggling in lieu of crossing her arms, making her look a little feisty.

"Not from my daughter," he said, and then turned to Alexis. "Tickets to whatever concert you want to watch. For you and your friend."

Alexis' expression turned thoughtful, her face still half covered by Castle's hand till she nodded. "For me and five of my friends."

Castle narrowed his eyes, and glanced at Kate and back, nodding in acquiescence. "Deal!" He smiled and crossed over to stand closely behind Kate. One of his hands landed on her hip, while the other creeped around her, reaching for the bacon.

She slapped his thieving hand away. "Castle! Behave."

Alexis giggled while Castle pouted and returned to his seat across from her. She asked, "Are you two like this at the precinct, too?"

"Yes!" "No!"

Thoroughly amused, she giggled again. "Right, well, I have some last minute revision to do, so I'm going to eat breakfast quickly. It smells delicious, by the way," she told Kate.

"Thanks. Ready for the test?" Kate asked with a smile.

"You can never be prepared enough," she said sagely.

"How'd you get to be so wise, youngling?" Castle asked, looking at her with pride.

"Good influences while growing up," she said.

Castle beamed and preened.

"Like Ms. Karen back in sixth grade."

And his smile dropped. "Someone's been influencing you alright," he commented as Kate and Alexis shared a high five.

They enjoyed their breakfast, with Castle effusively praising her culinary brilliance until she shoved a piece of toast to shut him up. Alexis thanked her with a hug and ran up the stairs to finish getting ready for her day. As he popped a raspberry into his mouth, he focused his gaze on hers. She felt, as often she did, that he was trying to read her. Seemingly satisfied by whatever he found hidden in her eyes, he nodded once as he swallowed the berry. "So are we not sharing with the class yet?"

Looking at her socked feet, she shuffled nervously, as her mind fumbled to put forth her worries. He'd noticed. "Just till we figure out what it is before anyone else does," she said softly.

Castle grinned, his cheek dimpling, and reached for her hand. She let him take it. "Kate, I think we're the last ones left to figure us out. But if you want to wait, that's fine with me. So, the talk," he said, wiggling his eyes, causing her to let out a small laugh as she tugged her hand out of his and starting picking up the dishes.

"Later," she said nodding to the stairs.

He agreed and joined her in clearing up the counter. He tried to shoo her away from the sink, saying that since she did the cooking, it was only fair that he did the dishes, but she refused. Well, he was stubborn too. Together, in what would only appear to an outsider to be domestic bliss, they scrubbed and washed the dishes. Nine year old that he was, he kept flicking suds at her. It made him laugh gleefully when she retaliated, only to swipe her cheek with the back of her foamy hand.

She was adorable. She was strong, and beautiful. Intelligent, and warm. Sensible, and sensitive. She was all these things and many more. He couldn't help but lean into her and kiss her. Her wet, slipper hand wound around his neck as she turned into him, leaning into the kiss.

"Okay, I'm off. Wish me luck, you gu- oh!"

Alexis' voice made them jump almost a foot apart, Castle's hand flying to his lips.

Kate's long leg reached out to kick him.

"Ow!" He winced, and then saw at the lost look on Kate's face. "Umm. I can explain."

"No need," Alexis huffed as she raised her hand to stop them.

As she growled audibly, Kate looked worriedly at Castle. She hadn't really thought through revealing the change in their relationship, but she didn't expect Alexis to respond badly to it.

Finally glaring at both of them, Alexis spoke up. "You've been waiting patiently for so long," she said, raising an accusing finger at her father. "You couldn't wait another two weeks?" She groaned, covering her face.

Kate tried hard to keep her face blank. "Alexis, if –"

"I mean, come _on_! Now I have to pay Paige."

"Huh?" If she wasn't confused before, she sure was now.

Quicker to curb, Castle asked her, "You had a bet going?"

"Which one is Paige?"

"Oh, the blonde one," Alexis directed at Kate. "You remember the one who got completely sappy over 'The Princess Diaries'."

"Ah!" Kate did remember. Alexis had had a sleepover for her friends at the loft almost two weeks ago.

"Yeah. She thought you guys were already together. Almost refused to believe me when I told her that wasn't the case. When she did, she said that it was only a matter of time. I agreed, but clearly, I thought it would take longer," she ended with a sigh. "Ah well, I've got to go," she said running up to give Castle a quick kiss on his cheek. She surprised Kate with a hug, and rushed to the door without waiting for her to respond.

"So you're okay with it?" Kate asked, still a little hesistant, but definitely relieved and happy.

"Pfft. Duh! Bye now!" she said, shutting the door behind her.

Kate slowly turned to Castle, his features mirroring her surprise. He shrugged, and gestured between them. "Told ya, last to figure it out."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

Special thanks to fembot for the excellent beta-ing. Bot, you help me learn, and encourage me like crazy. Thank you. Love you. And curse you, because thanks to you, this is now running through my head:

"_You are the Banter Queen, young and sweet, and with much caffeine_

_Banter Queen, feel the heat from the sexy scene" (Sorry, readers!)  
><em>

If there are any mistakes, I own 'em. I've done a fair bit of editing even after the beta-ing.

Thank you all for the reviews, favorites and follows. I appreciate them very much.


	7. Chapter 7

Castle's now thankfully dry hand found its way to lie firmly on Kate's lower back, guiding her to the living room sofa. She hoped he didn't notice the slight shiver when he first touched her there, confident in his possessiveness. They sat down and faced each other, drawing out the moment by shifting and fidgeting to get comfortable.

"So – the talk."

Kate nodded, "the talk."

Castle pursed his lips and nodded along, seemingly waiting for her to start.

She had thought about what to say to him, but didn't really know where to begin, or how. However, looking at his expectant face, she sucked in a deep breath and said – nothing. It was tougher than she had anticipated. Her mouth formed an 'O' before it closed, useless in its silence.

He realized her quandary – he really did. He knew what he wanted to say, and was hoping that he could put it across well. Words were his thing, after all. He had been manipulating them for years, poking and prodding till they succumbed to his desires. That wasn't going too well right now, though.

He huffed, "This is stupid."

Kate smiled. "Yeah."

After a small pause, they simultaneously blurted out, "I want to take things slowly."

Surprised and pleased that she had agreed; Castle gave her a goofy grin. "Yeah?"

A shy smile almost escaped his glance when she nodded once more, her curtain of brunette hair partially covering her face. When she looked up to meet his eyes, though, she looked sober, and it scared him just a little until she took his large hand in both of hers and brought it to her lap, consequently bringing him closer. "Yeah, Castle. I don't even know how this happened. One minute it felt like circumstances were forcing me to stay with you, the next it felt like I've always belonged here."

She raised her hand to stop him from interrupting, knowing what he was going to say. That she would always have a home here. He didn't need to reassure her anymore, because she finally, truly, believed him.

"I was used to you being a jackass revealing his deep dark secret of being a softie at heart every now and then, and then it was as if a bucket of ice water was doused in my face, because you're not a jackass. Far from it, though you have your moments. So suddenly I go from thinking one thing, to believing with all my heart that you're a good father, a good son, and a good man," she said, pausing to let it sink in. If she noticed his eyes brimming, and his throat bobbing slowly, she didn't comment on it. "That said, we sort of slipped into this so smoothly that I find it a little hard to believe."

He let out a breath that seemed to have been stuck in his chest and let his free hand drift to her cheek. His thumb stroked over the delicate skin, as he finally found his voice. "I'm exercising more restraint that I knew I had, not to kiss you senseless right now. You have no idea –" his voice drifted off. "Can I? Can I kiss you, please?" he pleaded in earnest.

Before she could even complete her assent, he moved in so his lips touched hers so tenderly, she could cry with it. Of its own accord, her tongue slipped between their lips to taste his. This kiss, she felt, was the perfect example of what she said to him. His supple, velvety lips tasted of raspberry and mint. The smell that was so unique to him engulfed her from every direction as he moved infinitesimally closer.

Everything around her seemed to have disappeared because there was nothing but him. Every single fiber of her being was tuned in to him, and he was all she could feel as he invaded every sense she possessed and then some. Because she could only taste him, only smell him and only feel him through that one small connection. Because his fingers tightened in her hair, and easily angled her face as he rolled her lip into the warmth of his mouth. Because she could hear words in his voice and hers, that neither of them were speaking, and yet they were being said. Because she had always read about this sort of kiss in stories and seen it in movies but she hadn't believed it.

That kind of magic was cinematic, as far as she was concerned – until now. Now she was seeing nothing but stars shimmering in the darkness. She could hear nothing but her own heart beating loudly in her ear, ready to pop out of her chest and leap straight into his. Her lips parted as his tongue sort entrance into her mouth and a moan escaped her in response to his delicious growl. His yet unshaved stubble rasped across her smooth cheek, burning her at a much deeper level than just the skin. And then, just as quickly as it had escalated out of their control – because such a thing was not meant to be controlled, he gently led her back into the present. Back to the loft that she now believed was somehow enchanted. His lips pecked hers, unwilling to part abruptly after being connected so completely, and settled there, fused exquisitely for a moment longer.

His hand held her in place till he finally felt strong enough to pull back. "Kate, I get it. This – being with you – is more important to me than any relationship I've been in before, and I want to do it right. But I know we can make it work."

"I want to believe that, Castle. I think I do. But, I've been living with you and that was bound to bring us closer. Now that I'm leaving, and we're going back to normal, I think we should take some time to adapt to the changes."

His lips twitched. "You're saying the Castles aren't normal?"

"Not by a long shot," came her quick response.

"I understand," he said soberly, "but note that I am really, really going to miss you. Very much. Especially now."

"Noted," Kate grinned.

"I'm guessing you don't want to share with anyone yet? I'll talk to Alexis about it."

"I'd appreciate that. You can tell Martha, and Alexis. I don't mind them knowing at all. Just tell them it's new and we don't want to world to know yet. Beyond that, I trust their judgment."

His eyebrows shot straight up at that. "You trust my mother's judgment? Seriously?"

She back handed his shoulder. "Be nice. She's very wise, most of the time."

"If you say so. For the record, I will expect you to take my side when we argue, though," he stated pompously, earning himself an eye roll.

"Uh-huh," she replied. At first she thought to rebel and say no, but there actually were times when Rick was the sane one out of the two. Best be diplomatic.

"What about the precinct?"

"I'd like to tell Montgomery, sooner rather than later, but not immediately," she said.

"And the boys? Lanie?"

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure Lanie will rip us new ones for keeping things form her, but I don't want her or the guys to know yet. This," she gestured between them and put her hand on his shoulder," is overwhelming and I'm still wrapping my head around it. The last thing I want is for a few comments made in jest to somehow cause any kind rift."

He nodded in assent.

"The boys and Lanie will have to wait, though we'll tell Montgomery sometime fairly soon. Which means that I have to keep my hands to myself when we're in front of them," he said a little sadly, before suddenly perking up. "Stolen touches, hidden glances, secret precinct rendezvous –"

Kate narrowed her eyes at that last one. "Don't get any ideas, buddy."

"Too late for that. This is going to be _awesome!_"

She rolled her eyes, but her small closed-lipped smile was a testament to her amusement.

"Glad we got that settled," she said, genuinely relieved, and leaned in to kiss him. The feel of his lips on hers was intoxicating, and she felt she could never have enough of it. She let him deepen the kiss, even engaging in a battle of wills between their tongues as they pushed and pulled, stroked and caressed each other. It was so easy to get lost. Escape from reality. No, that wasn't true. This was real. Escape from the shackles of life and into everything good and pure.

Before things could get too heated, they pulled apart. Castle, once he shook himself out of a haze, had a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Now that we sorted that out, how much better are you feeling today?"

"I'd have gone back to work if someone hadn't gone behind my back to get me a day off."

"Pfft. Silly people, what were they thinking, giving you a break. The nerve!" he mocked.

She shoved him backward only to be pulled along. "Why are you asking?" she asked as she settled into his warmth.

He took a moment to appreciate how perfectly she fit into him. Like they were made to be connected. "I was thinking –"

"Uh oh."

"Mean," he pouted.

She laughed and craned her neck to kiss his cute pouty lips, till he smiled into her kiss. "Sorry. Habit. You were saying?"

"I was thinking we could go to Hell's kitchen today."

She propped her elbows over his chest and drew herself up so she could face him. His arms loosened slightly, but remained snugly on her to keep her steady. She wasn't worried. "The flea market?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah. I thought we could go hunt for some stuff for your apartment. Stuff with meaning, or stories, like we'd planned."

"Sounds good," she said with a smile, "You know, I would have been surprised at your suggestion, but I'm not."

"Why not?" he asked, glad that she was seeing him in a different, hopefully better, light.

"Because of the loft. You have these trinkets scattered all over the place, and paintings that I quite like, and it's modern but cozy. It's eclectic, and that surprisingly is something we have in common." She thought about the little crystal and ceramic skulls he used as bookends, and the toy motor boats and plane in what she had dubbed to be his bat cave. She thought about the strangely mesmerizing print of the spiral staircase in his office, and the elephant and creepy staring lion – which she got a first look at just yesterday – in his bedroom. It wasn't just his rooms either. The living room had a wire model of the Brooklyn bridge, and that strange little voodoo doll cushion on one of the sofa chairs.

"We have a lot more in common than people think."

"Hmm," she agreed. "But I do have a budget, Castle, so no going overboard."

"Psh. Don't worry about the budget," he said, gripping her tightly when she tried to get up.

"Castle -," she started to reprimand through gritted teeth.

"No, really, Kate. Do you have any idea how big a success 'Heat Wave' was? And I'm well on my way to finishing Na – the next one. Your apartment wouldn't have been blown up in the first place had it not been for Nikki Heat."

"We've covered this already, Rick."

"Yes. I'm not taking undue responsibility, but I am sharing due success. Nikki Heat is part me, part you. Nikki Heat can take some of the responsibility of your things being ashes." He allowed her to get up and expected her to maybe hit him and storm off. But Kate was a woman of many surprises. She just moved to sit up again, and thought silently for a few minutes.

"Please, Kate?" he said softly.

"That's not a free ticket to wild spending," she said seriously, but she had relented and he couldn't possibly be any happier. He jumped to his feet and punched the air in victory, and she couldn't help but smile at his obvious, if a little childish, enthusiasm.

"You won't regret it. I can be calm and reasonable," he said eagerly. "Now come on! Up, up, up!" he said grabbing her hand and tugging her into quick hug before he turned her towards the stairs. "Go get ready. Meet back here in thirty minutes. That's more than enough time," he said more to himself than to her, and then sped off towards his bedroom, leaving a thoroughly amused Beckett at the base of the stairs.

"Calm and reasonable, my ass," she shook her head, and ascended the stairs, still smiling.

**A/N:** If you enjoyed that kiss up there, you have my beta, Fembot, to thank for it. It was going to be one dainty line. She challenged me to expand it 'cause she believed I could. She hasn't read it before I'm posting this. Hopefully she (and ya'll) will think I've lived up to it. Thank you guys for the follows, favorites and lovely encouraging reviews!


	8. Chapter 8

Kate thought she knew what to expect from the day. After all, they had worked together for two years. They had each saved the others life innumerable times. Okay, not true. Clearly it was enumerable, because Castle was keeping a tally of it. In between all the sometimes-heroic, sometimes-dumb-luck, life saving adventures, she had experienced a whole lot of _him_. And boy, did that sound dirty in her head.

She thought back to when he had just joined the team. Yes, she thought of him as part of their team. There were times when they very suddenly felt separated from everything and everyone around them. Even back then. When there was just Kate pretending to ignore him as she typed up a report here, or made a note there. When Castle would sit on his spot diagonally across from her, and observe her in silence. Like a bubble coming up around them, a force field, a shield. The world, somehow in the know of this phenomenon, would pass them by in those fleeting moments of privacy. Something in his gaze used to make her the slightest bit uncomfortable, not that she would ever have admitted that. She wondered now whether he knew what he was doing, or whether it was some sort of writer's reflex. He would analyze her. Try to look for a story. Try to find the why.

Her reflex would have Kate trying to hide from his penetrating eyes. The genuine smile, which usually started out reluctantly in the first place, would slip into a factitious one. She would try to guard herself – especially the important parts of herself – from him, because back then he was still more parts jackass and less parts wiseass. It was a façade, she came to learn. One he cloaked himself spectacularly well in. She should know. Kate had her walls, and Castle had his. And even then, she knew that he could see right through her. He could read her. See through her eyes what she tried desperately to hide. And the truth came out in two ways.

One was the abstract. The emotions he pegged with frightening accuracy just from her eyes even if she controlled every other inch of her face. Then that would lead to the other, because his eyes would change. Not the color, no. They were the same cool blue. It was the understanding that would dawn there, maybe in sympathy, or empathy, or compassion. His innate compassion would lead to her confessions.

Over time it was that same gaze that turned softer; that chose to read her – to hear the things she couldn't or wouldn't say out loud. In hindsight, the kicker was that she didn't know that she wanted him to know. She wanted him to look. Kate wanted Castle to see her when nobody else could.

She liked to think that it went both ways. That she knew more of him than he let on to others, or more than he had wanted to let on to her. Castle guarded parts of himself too. Oddly, parts of him that he considered to be vulnerabilities – those were parts that made him human, and a good one at that. He was an eternal optimist. A believer in magic, and all things miraculous and good. He believed in happily ever after even after two failed marriages. He believed in keeping the belief alive - in Santa, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy. He believed in the simple magic of tomorrow. He believed in her, too.

Castle was a kid at heart. Though that translated as being immature at times, it was, for the most part, very endearing. But maybe she had underestimated – or forgotten – just how zealous he could be. For all the things that made her lo– feel the way she did about him; he was kind of making her dizzy right now.

"Castle, would you please slow down?" she pleaded, winding her arm around his, and pulling herself to his side in an effort to persuade him. He was zipping from one stall to the next that her eyes hurt in an effort to stay focused on him. And that was saying something, since she was pretty good at shooting moving targets. Not that she wanted to shoot him. _Just yet_.

"But Kate, look at all the stuff. It. Is. _So_. _Cool_!" he exclaimed in barely suppressed glee. "Did you see the vintage typewriter? And those liquor bottles? They're empty, so meh. But they're still so rare and – ooh! That stall there has glass bottles with messages in 'em. Message in a bottle! I wonder what they say. Letters. Love letters. Or hate letters. You think they're from stranded islanders to file lawsuits against the ship that stranded them there? Unless they're all fake, in which case, I'm not spending five dollars on them. But if they're real, that would be awesome. Oh, and did you see that lamp? We should totally get that for you. And its twin, cause you don't want it to be all lonely, and uneven."

With her trademark eye roll and pursed lips, she grabbed the sides of his head which was still dancing on his neck to get a view of everything. If it could have moved three sixty degrees, she imagined it would have. "Castle!"

His eyes snapped back to hers. "Huh?"

"I know all the pretty, shiny things are very, very distracting. But we've come here for a reason. Just try to remember that, 'kay?" Seeing the retort that was ready at the tip of his tongue, she moved her hand to the nape of his neck, drawing tiny circles through the short silky hair under her fingertips.

"Buh-but-" Whatever argument he had lined up, well, that went straight in the dumpster. Slow, Castle, _slow_. Slow, meant not picking her up in the middle of a crowded flea market and taking off in search of a deep dark isolated corner to ah – express his feelings upon the topic of massages. In that light, he settled for clearing his throat. Kate was not making things any easier for him, doing that thing with her eyes where she'd look at his lips, and unconsciously wet hers, before quickly returning her gaze back to his eyes. "Do you think – would you like to come out here with me again sometime when we're free?"

It was adorable and plain sweet that he wanted to spend more time here with her on the streets of New York looking at art and a whole lot of junk. _And honestly_! How was she supposed to say no to those large, round, beautifully blue, puppy eyes she was being subjected to? Kate gave him a put on sigh, while smiling inwardly. She dragged her hand over the sky blue fabric covering his chest, all the way down to his waist, and back to her side. "I'd love to."

His answering smile had her mentally scheduling another visit.

They turned in sync, ambling along between the many interesting stalls at a more decent pace. The back of his hand glanced along the back of hers for the first few steps, unsure of what counted as acceptable PDA. It was a ludicrous thought, especially considering that not more than a minute ago they were sharing a private moment in a crowded public place. But more than a year of practicing self-restraint had ended up confusing Castle's poor mind. He plucked up the courage and watched her face from the corner of his vision, as his large stubby fingers slid their way between her long, slender ones. A quirk of her lips was the only sign he got that she was aware and fine with hand-holding. That, and the fact that she hadn't crushed his fingers between hers, instead giving a barely there squeeze in reassurance.

Though smaller and more delicate than his, hers were the fingers that squeezed the trigger of a gun, or curled into a fist to land hard punches at stone jawed suspects; while his large calloused fingers tap danced across a keyboard. He was busy marveling at the fact when suddenly she raised their joined hands to point at one of the stalls. Turning towards it, he had to squint a little against the light, as they made their way closer.

"Birds?" Castle asked, turning to her in surprise. He was sure she'd first go for the essentials. Maybe even stop at that. Then he'd be the one forcing her to add decorations. Here she was, surprising him again.

"Ah! That's a good eye your wife has," said the plump but kindly looking Japanese woman.

Kate turned a scarlet shade he hadn't ever seen on her till then, but she looked at ease. He fought to swallow his heart that had leaped right into his throat when she wasn't giving an impassioned rant in denial. Instead, she picked up the small wooden bird from the table. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, and so he settled for looking at her in wonder.

She avoided looking at him, scared of what might greet her.

Fortunately, the stall owner spoke up again. "This is a symbol of good luck in many cultures," she said, to which Kate nodded.

Still avoiding his gaze, she turned the bird over in her hands. "My mom told me about it once. The owl, with its large eyes, symbolizes wisdom. It hunts for tiny prey at night, and protects and provides for its family."

Castle watched as she smiled at it fondly and turned to pick up and examine more little birds. They looked kind of like sparrows. There was a slender white rocking sparrow with no wings, no details; just haunting in its simplicity as she set it into motion. Next to it was a paper mache, glossy newspaper, rotund but tiny canary that somehow proudly balanced on its newspaper twigs for legs and feet. "We'll take them all," he said to the woman who watched Kate closely. He couldn't blame her. Kate was handling each with such reverence that he thought there must be a story there.

"What? Castle, that's okay –" Kate said.

"They'll look good, perched all over your apartment," he said quietly into her ear.

His thumb traveled over her hand, between each crest and trough of her knuckles, before coming to a stop over her thumb. She nodded.

Kate paid the woman after she packed the few decorative birds into a small cardboard box. They walked to the next stalls, one of her hand loosely intertwined with his, and with the box tucked under her free arm. Castle finally voiced, "It's funny, that none of the birds we picked have distinct wings."

"If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine it. The lights are out, and the world is asleep, and they sprout wings and fly free." she said with her eyes closed and a teeth-revealing smile.

"I'm finally rubbing off on you." Castle chuckled as her face morphed to shoot him an indignant look. "You let your imagination run wild about us like that?" he asked in a deep, salacious tone. "Starting to have a little faith in me?"

She looked at him bashfully. "I have plenty of faith in you."

Castle expected a sassy comeback. Instead she answered him with sincerity lacing her every word. Words she had spoken so easily and straight from the heart. Those birds, which she so innocently picked out, suddenly made sense; laden with more meaning than he had thought, or she had meant. Or maybe she did mean it the way he now understood it. That was how she was. Where Castle charmed his way through words, she spoke in subtext and gestures. He stopped mid-stride and pulled her to him, her eyes finding his to question him wordlessly at his sudden change in demeanor. He leaned into her slightly, placing his free hand over the box. In a voice so quiet only she could hear it, he said, "_For to have faith is to have wings._"

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><p><strong>AN:** Really sorry for the delay. It's probably going to be long between chapters from now because of some not-so-good real life stuff. Thank you, guys for reading, and for all the lovely reviews (sorry if I haven't answered individually). I apologize for any mistakes, this one is unbeta'd since I feel guilty over delaying it for so long.

The last line, I thought it befitting to quote J. . _"The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply that they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings."_


	9. Chapter 9

Castle had noticed that Kate's smiles were getting tighter and her hand had left his to wind through his arm instead, in what she tried to pass of as a casual move. It might have worked, too, if he hadn't noticed the subtle shift of weight as she allowed herself to lean on him while strolling over to the next stall. He could tell she was tired. Even if she didn't have a concussion, she was still roughed up plenty the day before. The fact that she was headstrong, he realized, made her want to carry on like nothing was out of place. Copping to a weakness was not a cop thing to do.

But he could see it. Castle wanted her to rest, wanted to take care of her – as much as she would allow him to. He came to a decision, and silently congratulated himself on his oh-so-suave move. She had been somewhat distracted either by her exhaustion or all the pretty things, completely oblivious to his inner musings and possibly immune to his gaze on her. His constant creepy staring had finally done him some good. With a quick smirk before settling his face into a neutral expression, he lifted his hand, angling it towards him and jiggling his elbow.

Kate turned to him, brows furrowed, but with a hint of a smile to show her amusement. Adorable. He turned a helpless expression towards her and jostled the box of birds he was carrying against his side with his right arm. "Pull back my sleeve?" he asked with puppy dog eyes.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but he thought it was more out of habit that suspicion considering it was an innocent request as opposed to pulling back – well, other things. Obliging to his random request, she tugged his sleeve towards his elbow, her fingers coasting over the fine hairs that covered his forearm. Again he slightly angled his wrist to see his watch.

"Oh, look at that! Time for lunch!"

Her hand, and thus the point of contact they were so absently sharing, left his causing him to look up at her face. She was rolling her eyes at him. Castle worried for a second about being caught out in his awesome plan to get her out of the place. The plan seemed somewhat lame now. He needn't have worried though because she was just routinely calling him out. "Castle, you could just have asked me the time."

"That's okay; I was just helping you out," he said, nodding his head.

"Wow, you saved me from such a tedious chore," she deadpanned.

"Not what I meant."

"No?"

"Nope. I was just giving you more reasons to touch me. You know you like it," he answered smugly.

She stopped in her tracks and turned to him, her face full of disbelief. But she did. Like touching him, that is. Heh. "What?" he asked, "Don't deny it."

At that, her face morphed into a smile, and even if it looked like she was gritting her teeth, he was glad she was about to admit to it.

"You're right, Castle. I do love touching you." Kate said before she rolled her eyes again, pursed her lips and with ninja-like speed brought her hand up to grab his nose.

The pain. "Ow, ow, ow. Birds!"

"I thought your safe word was apples," she said with a wide smile, not loosening her grip at all.

"Funny," he said, sounding funnily nasally. "Let go, Beckett," he pleaded, jostling the box with both hands so the birds inside rattled. "Please?"

"Well, since you said please." She let go with a shrug.

He transferred the box into her hands before rubbing at his reddened nose. His pout and glare only encouraged her to laugh. They say laughter is the best medicine. He didn't know how – which was fair because his mom laughing at him when he yelped like a girl on getting his flu shot didn't help him at all – until now. Castle couldn't even hold on to the indignation as her tinkering laugh set her face aglow.

Judging by the fading laughter and quiet smile that took up residence on her face, he was probably making moony eyes at her. She returned the box back to him which he promptly settled into his right arm again. When he offered his arm, she chose to forgo it and held his hand, tugging it gently. "Come on, Castle. Lunch time."

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><p>Kate had initially wanted to walk to a restaurant close by, but Castle convinced her otherwise. They had driven to Hell's kitchen, parking the car just a couple of blocks away. He did his best to convince her of his sudden cheeseburger craving. When that didn't work, he used his talents as an author to describe in detail the best cheeseburger, milkshake and fries till her stomach started grumbling and she ended up being the one with a craving. That's how they found their way sitting across each other in a snug little booth at Remy's. Remy's coincidentally happened to be halfway between his loft and her new place.<p>

After he'd all but gobbled up his burger, he leaned back in his seat alternately sipping his chocolate shake and munching his fries while engaging in his favorite pastime. Mooning after Kate. How could he resist really? He watched her, mesmerized as she gracefully tackled her food, unlike him. He loved the strands of hair that escaped their prison behind her ears and fell softly on her face, sometimes making her look utterly hot, sometimes helping her to hide the pink hues dusting her cheeks. Either way, he loved them, because it gave him a change to reach out and feel her soft skin under his fingertips as he tucked them back slowly. He loved the way her eyes rolled up, her lids sliding down like a curtain at the close, every time she took a sip of her strawberry shake. Though she smiled through having a taste of his shake, it wasn't quite the same effect. He deduced then that strawberry shakes were one of her favorites. Quite like the vanilla grande skimmed lattes that she loved.

His eyes tripped all over her face, landing finally on the little bit of mayo that escaped the confines of her mouth and sat enticingly on the corner of her lip. That is, until she brought up her hand, scooping the mayo with her thumbnail and then proceeding to slide said thumb into her mouth. He was vaguely aware of his jaw dropping, and his throat going dry when he caught a peak of the tip of her strawberry tongue before she close her lips over it. Millimeter by millimeter her thumb came out, glistening just a little, taunting him until she finally released it with a pop. His eyes snapped to hers, and the momentary narrowing coupled with the smirk adorning her face finally clued him in. Kate Beckett was a minx who took pleasure in torturing poor handsome author partners who were clearly, helplessly lost in her.

He cleared his throat, choosing to ignore her blatant attempt to drive him insane. It seemed like a good time to plant his idea in her head. "Hey, so I was thinking, how about we go to the loft and watch a couple of movies? It's your last day there after all, and you know," he said with a shrug, suddenly unable to meet her eyes for the next part, "it'll miss you."

"The loft will miss me?"

"Yeah. It's a sentimental loft. You should at least spend some time with it before you leave it."

"Well –" she drawled.

He waited for the rebuttal. For the sassy comeback. But he got something else entirely instead.

"I hope the loft knows that I'm not leaving it for good."

Again his eyes snapped to hers, surprised at the intensity belying them.

"Yeah?"

His response was too breathless, too serious. This time her eyes cut away from his, only to return again as if in defiance. In an attempt at breaking the normal pattern of duck and cover. "Yeah. I'll visit."

He nodded and hoped that she didn't notice his disappointment. But Kate wasn't the best detective in New York for nothing.

"Often."

"What?"

"I'll visit often. I'll – I'll miss it, too. Even though it was for a short time, it felt like home."

Her hand was fisted on the table next to her plate. It seemed like she hadn't even realized it because it started to loosen when he brought his hand up to cover hers. His thumb stroked over wrist and his fingers slid into her palm, her fingers coming to wrap around it. An anchor in the storm. "Kate, the loft is your home." He paused, making sure that she knew he was serious. With steady eyes and an unwavering voice, he added, "It will always be there for you."

Gulping to dislodge what felt like a lump in her throat, she used all her power to ignore the sound of blood rushing in her ears. The tingling shiver that ran through her body. Her eyes frantically shifted between his, as if trying to gauge something. Some force immeasurable. Unfathomable. And she found it. She found it, and it felt like a jolt to her heart. Because finally, she could define it. She could accept the inevitable. The indisputable and irrevocable. The plainly visible, palpable truth. "I know," she replied breathlessly.

They weren't talking about the loft. They never were.

It was her small slightly trembling smile that convinced him. "I know, Castle. You've said it enough that I truly believe it." He didn't say it at all, but she knew. With all her heart. She knew it with all his heart.

"Good," he said, turning her hand and opening it. He raised it to his face and placed a single, gentle kiss on it before closing her fingers over it and releasing her. It was a sealed promise. "Good," he repeated with a smile. "Wouldn't want to hurt its feelings."

"Somehow I think the loft understands," she said with an answering smile.

"Somehow I think you're right."

"Oh, Castle. When will you learn? I'm always right," she beamed. "But I've learned, you are too. Sometimes."

"Generous," he said, watching her ship her shake.

"Hmm. Many layers."

"A good mystery," he supplied.

He received her patented eye roll that did nothing to the flush adorning her skin.

"But I can work with that. Who better than a mystery writer," he said leaning forward, his eyes tracing down the path of her shirt buttons before heading back up to her face, "to _uncover_ the mystery."

A wadded up piece of tissue hit his face as she said, "Eat your fries, Rick."

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you guys for your patience, for tuning in, and for all the reviews that encourage me to go on. I was choked not only for time, but also for words. But my therapist, Bot, talked me out of the latter. This is the outcome. Hope you like it.


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